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바람이 부는 시간

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바람이 부는 시간

 

시는 현실 너머 새로운 길을 상상하고 꿈꾸고 그 꿈을 향해 뚜벅뚜벅 걷게 한다. 시와 함께 걸으면 이 막막한 나날을 쉬이 지치지 않고 견딜 수 있는 마음의 근육이 생긴다. 그러니 일단 시와 함께 걸어보자. 일상을 화급하게 휘두르지만 지나고 생각하면 막상 헛것인 일들에 둘러싸인 우리. 시와 함께 걸으면 그 시간을, 이 지상의 삶을 조롱과 냉소가 아닌 방식으로 사랑할 수 있는 인내와 힘이 생기고 시가 일으키는 상쾌한 바람의 길을 만난다.

 

시는 내 판단의 뿌리, 자비와 사랑의 뿌리, 즐거움의 뿌리, 재잘거리는 내 수다의 뿌리, 내 침묵과 미소, 슬픔의 뿌리다. 시와 함께 걸으며 견디며 지나온 나날들, 그동안 시와 함께 한 글들을 모아서 일상에서 시가 바람처럼 신비롭게 전하는 사유와 성찰의 힘을 질문하고자 한다.

 

본문 중에서

 

가족이라는 순례의 길

 

 

밖에선

그토록 빛나고 아름다운 것

집에만 가져가면

꽃들이

화분이

 

다 죽었다

 

 

「가족」 진은영 , 『일곱 개의 단어로 된 사전』, 문학과 지성사 (2003)

 

「가족」의 화자는 아마 십대 후반이나 이십대 초반에 가족 안에서 지독한 단절을 느낀 것 같다. 밖에서는 빛나고 아름다운 것들이 집에만 가져가면 다 죽었다니, 이 얼마나 서늘하고 처참하고 또 뼈아픈 고백인가. 날마다 가족을 먹여 살리느라 애쓰는 부모님이 들으시면 자못 서운하고 기가 찰 일이지만 스무 살 안팎의 청년들이 들으면 마음 뭉클해지는 구절이다. ‘아, 나만 그런 게 아니구나!’ 싶을 생생한 고백이다.

“꽃들이 / 화분이 // 다 죽었다”라고 연 구분까지 해놓은 이 명확한 선언은 가족이라는 평화로운 터, 완벽해 보이는 보호의 테두리 안에서 저마다 얼마나 외롭게 자기만의 고투를 하고 있는지 보여준다. 그 마음을 읽고 또 말을 들어줄 누군가가 한 명이라도 있다면 집의 꽃들이, 화분이, 그렇게 다 고스란히 죽지는 않았을 텐데. 사랑에서 출발하여 세상에서 가장 조화로운 공동체를 꿈꾸는 가족은 하나의 이상일 뿐, 그 이면에 가장 폭력적이고 강도 높은 소외와 오해가 일어나기 쉬운 관계다. 서로를 잘 안다고 생각하지만 아버지는 아버지대로 어머니는 어머니대로 딸은 딸대로 아들은 아들대로 자기 몫의 고투와 씨름한다. 가장 가까이 있지만 가장 먼 관계가 가족이다. 따로 또 같이 세월을 먹고 성장하고 다투고 화해하며 그렇게 한 가족의 역사에는 드러난 성취와 드러나지 않은 눈물이 공존한다.

목차

책머리에 _ 5

 

1부 걷다 마주하다 _ 13

타인의 아름다움에서만 ································································ 15

홀로 걷는 달 ···························································· 19

몽상도 좋아 ··········································································· 23

생의 기쁨은 어디에 ····························································· 28

당신을 기억하고 이해하는 일 ········································· 33

그 꽃들은 다 어디로 갔나? ················································ 38

아직도 뛰고 있는 심장을 찾는 일 ···································· 43

다른 모든 것을 잊더라도 ····················································· 48

가족이라는 순례의 길 ···································································· 52

바람을 보는 일과 바람이 되는 일 ·························· 57

이름 없는 당신께 바치는 찬미가 ···································································· 61

침묵이 당신을 굳건하게 해주길 ···························································· 65

 

2부 보다 품어보다 _ 71

바람의 길 ·············································································· 73

하루를 두 번씩 살기 ······································································· 79

마음을 움직이는 순간들 ··························································· 85

머리맡에 씨앗을 품고 잠드는 시간 ······························································· 91

이런 인내, 이런 행복 ····························································· 98

전환점에 서서 ······························································ 104

열매가 빛을 저장하듯 ······························································ 110

지금 여기의 삶과 인간됨을 위하여 ··························································· 116

무엇을 거두어들일 것인가 ·················································· 122

나의 가난은 ···················································································· 130

시인-되기 ··························································································· 137

살자, 산산조각으로 ············································································· 145

 

3부 묻다 희망하다 _ 151

새 출발을 위한 ‘고별사’ ···························································· 153

성에꽃, 유리창에 그리는 얼굴 ······································································ 159

나는 못된 도둑, 마음이 굽는 일용할 양식 ········································· 165

당신은 몇 점 ·························································································· 171

맥락 없음의 신비 ············································································· 176

너무 늦지 않게 ··············································································· 183

벼랑, 끝과 시작 ····················································································· 189

외로운 희망, 외롭지 않은 희망 ·················································· 196

이상한 나무 이야기 ············································································· 203

아버지의 이름으로 ···················································································· 210

잊을 수 없는 단 하나 ················································································· 218

시월에 온 이름 없는 여인을 생각하며 ··················································· 224

영원할 수 없음을 아는 지혜 ································································ 231

 

4부 듣다 들어오다 _ 237

말의 뿌리와 중심 ··················································································· 239

을이 던지는 질문 ··································································· 245

너무 많고 너무 적은 ·················································································· 251

주눅든 공손과 평등한 사랑 ······························································ 258

소박하고 조용하고 강인하게 ·························································· 264

키운다는 것 ····························································································· 270

어떤 불행과 어떤 행운과 어떤 망각과 어떤 기억 ······················· 276

이 여름에 귀 기울여야 할 것들 ························································ 282

나는 당신이 필요해요 ············································································ 288

사진 속 귀한 사람 ·················································································· 293

낮게 뜨겁게 ················································································· 300

바람결에 실려오는 ············································································ 305

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